The other day surfing my Feed I noticed a little comic stating “A man without a woman is called a bachelor; a woman without a man is called a genius.” So, not being able to resist yet another of the incessant instances of male-bashing I had to comment: “I see a lot of angry geniuses out there.” Of course that’s not to say that a man is required to make a woman happy or complete, for God does not call all women to the married state. Nor do I mean that all married women are happy because I do notice that there are a lot of discontent miserable women out there, and many of them are married and have children. That bothers me.
So it got me to thinking. I tend to notice ladies that are particularly delightful, happy, and cheerful. For the most part, they also have polite and respectful, yet good-natured, happy children. Then I look at their husbands. One thing definitely they all have in common: masculine. How do I identify them as masculine? In this case, I don’t mean tall and muscular in stature or a revolutionary-type starting a crusade. They are in a word, RAW. They’re not necessarily eloquent or even well-spoken, definitely not intellectuals, maybe unrefined to an extent, and probably wouldn’t be considered “spiritual” in today’s terms, although they are faithful to the precepts of the Church. But they are the type that wears the pants in the family. What they say goes. It’s their way or the highway. And it’s a beautiful thing.
Now normally when someone reads something like this, especially a female, their first thought is ABUSE, because this is the mantra that has been pounded into our heads by the feminist movement. If a man is strong especially in his own home, he is considered abusive. I am advocating nothing of the sort. A man has to be able to set standards and hold a level of order in his home. This has worked for generations up until about the last 2 or so. We can all remember the stories of the grandfather or great uncle who when he said something the conversation was over. This is the position God elevates the father in the home to. What he says goes. The father in the home is to consider everyone in making decisions and has to be the one with the final say if there is any disagreement. He leads the family in disciplining the children, makes the decisions at home as to what is allowable and not allowable, and his wife is to uphold those standards with the children in his absence.
To test this theory of mine, I had noticed a family that I’m familiar with that I don’t know very well at Mass one Sunday. My wife had pointed out that the children (9 of them) were very well-mannered and good-natured, happy kids. I noticed that the mom was quiet, but cheerful, seemed content. So this particular Sunday, I noticed the dad was not present. I asked the mom about him, and she said he was unexpectedly called in to work. She was there with her 9 children, including a 3-week old infant, as calm and composed as always and all the children were as well behaved as always. I just had to think “Someone’s doing something right.” So after complimenting her on this, I asked the little girl who was holding her baby brother “Is your daddy mean?” She had a little bit of a confused look on her face and shook her head “No.” Then I asked “Is your daddy strict?” Her face little up and with a bright smile she nodded “Yes.” It was as though she was proud to have a dad who held up standards and held them in line. We can see that even and unsuspecting child knows the difference between abuse and discipline. There’s a big difference. Children that come from a home of discipline are happy and good-natured as well as polite and respectful. Children from a place of abuse cower, are angry and unhappy, as well as those from homes where they are neglected and not disciplined.
This also goes for the wives too. Wives are to be submissive to their husbands as the Scriptures say. This is no indication of abuse. This is an action by the wife. A man cannot force a woman to submit, otherwise it is not submission. It would then be manipulation or control. The wife submits, places herself under her husband’s authority, willingly. She submits her will to him, as she would submit her will to God. By submitting to her husband, she is submitting to God. It is ultimately a humble offering to God. When I polled the question asking the ladies “What is your favorite masculine quality?” one common reply was that of PROTECTING. This affirms what I remember Christopher West in his reflections on Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body indicated was a woman’s greatest need: to feel protected. She places herself under his protection.
So what is necessary for someone to be a protector? He must be strong and courageous. He doesn’t necessarily have to be nice or polite for that matter. He might actually be rude by nature. No one is perfect. This may just be his disposition—he may be a grouch. When she met him and married him, she knew that was his nature. He may not necessarily be smart or deeply spiritual, but he will go to Mass and lead the family in basic prayers. This is what I mean by raw masculinity: a strong, yet unselfish character that is uncompromising and without apology. That is what we need in today’s family leaders.
I heard a lady say once that “I know I can be hard to handle; I like having a strong husband who can keep me in line.” Obviously this lady is not being abused, as much as the feminists would like you to believe she is. You have one of 2 ways to order your family: God’s way or the wrong way. The Scriptures say “Male and female He created them.” The feminists would say to make everyone feminine whether male or female. Make all the men soft and weak and tuned in to their emotions, in touch with their feelings. HOGWASH! Let men be men and women be women, then we’ll be getting somewhere.
God bless you+