17 things your flight attendant won’t tell you
Humor - sort of
Ever wonder what your flight attendant really thinks of you? What they’d tell you if they had the nerve? Or weren’t afraid of being fired? What deep, dark secrets would they reveal about their jobs?
I have a number of friends who work as flight attendants. One of them recently retired after 20 years flying for the most storied name in commercial aviation, while others work for less glamorous domestic U.S. airlines.
I asked them what they’d tell their passengers if they could tell them anything at all, or what secrets they’d reveal only if granted complete anonymity. All I can say is that these people do not represent every single flight attendant in the skies, so if you’re a flight attendant yourself, please hold your fire and don’t shoot the messenger.
But I didn’t make this stuff up. What you read here may shock you, or make you laugh, I’m not sure which.
1. You know that coffee you ordered? It’s actually decaf even though you asked for regular. We’d rather that you sit back, relax and fall asleep so you don’t bother us too much. Our airline sent around a memo wondering why the decaf supplies were going so fast, noting that decaf costs more than regular coffee.
...4. If a flight is late, the airline might have to pay us overtime. If the flight is going to be late anyway, we’ve been known to delay it even further in order make sure overtime kicks in, which on our airline means up to double the hourly pay. We might find some minor defect in the aircraft or use some other ruse to make up for the money we don’t get paid waiting for take off.
...7. Please don’t ask me what we’re flying over. I’m as clueless as you are. I am not flying the plane.
11. I want to yank your headphones off your head after I’ve asked you what you want to drink and you’ve responded “huh?” three times. After the fourth time I just move on or give you a Coke.
12. Yes, we do ask the captain to leave the seatbelt on long after the turbulence has ended so we can serve in the aisles.
13. On night flights, we sometimes hold off on meal service as long as we can so that you’ll be asleep and we’ll have less to do.
14. All male flight attendants are not gay, even if they might look like they are.
15. We really don’t like children. Not just your children, children period. Why do you think we chose a career where we spend half our lives away from home?
16. If you poke me, I’m going to poke you back. Harder!
17. Don’t ask me where you can shove your bag. I’ve been waiting 12 years to tell you where you can shove it.
Read more: www.foxnews.com/…/17-things-your-…